So what's the heart of life?

Here you are, just opening this email for a little inspiration.. when woosh! A wave of overwhelm washes over you, you've been plugging away at home on a work project for the last few days and you completely forgot you have company coming. They'll arrive tomorrow! A wave of panic has you jumping from one thing to another, feeling frazzled by the time they arrive, and exhausted by the time they leave.

Now, breathe in and release a deep exhale.
It's really common to live in a reactive place to life, to feel overwhelmed by all that's coming at you, and to feel disconnected.
But there is so much more to the spectrum of living.

Heart of life was born out of a vision of living in a world where more folks feel more connected more of the time, more folks recognize their wholeness, more folks are kind and loving, and more folks feel alive and present.

The heart of life I'm talking about is a place or space within yourself where you feel connected, a feeling that only you can define, one of your true authentic essence. When you are tethered to your heart of life, you move with ease. Instead of reacting to the world around you, you respond in a compassionate way. You give yourself grace, when you forget, you put off, or disconnect. You know that where you are now is just a step on your journey to becoming more whole.

No matter where you are in connection to your heart of life, you are seen, you are appreciated, and you are welcome here.

If you are local, please check out my save the date below, I am thrilled to invite you to an in-person community appreciation day! All are welcome to uncover, steep in, and connect with their heart of life.
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In gratitude & good health,
Dr. Jessica

Jessica Goyke 11/8/23 Jessica Goyke 11/8/23

Is your bandwidth limited or abundant

Taking inventory on your bandwidth,

Your nervous system's bandwidth is your capacity to process life in the moment. Experiences within that bandwidth you have the capacity, and the resources to digest, to make sense of, to grow from. Experiences outside of that bandwidth, you did not have the capacity or resources to fully process in that moment so your brilliant body holds onto that information in your nervous system, with the intention of processing it with rest, time, or movement.

On a day to day basis your bandwidth will vary. Based on life's curveballs and experiences, as well as your baseline or set point (where your nervous system is comfortable, or feels safe).

Where is your bandwidth?
Can you identify a time in your life where you had a lot of capacity for life?
Can you identify a time in your life where you had little capacity for life?
Where do you fall on that spectrum today?
Which way are you trending?

There is not right or wrong here. There are seasons of life, and periods of growth, and I truly believe that it is all happening in your favor.

These are some general guidelines that I follow to live in harmony with my body and my bandwidth and to trend towards optimal in the life long game.

When your bandwidth is limited:
Sleep, hydration, and focusing on processing and integration are the KEY! These are simple foundational pieces that will get you far. The more they are prioritized, the quicker I tend to see folks expanding back into a more spacious and adaptable bandwidth.

When your bandwidth is abundant:
This is the optimal time to try something new, to challenge yourself physically, mentally or emotionally. It's also a time for deeper integration in a proactive way (inner healing that happens without a stimulus or trigger).

Do you find yourself working with your biology, or against it? Let me know what lands most with you!

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In gratitude & good health,
Dr. Jessica

Jessica Goyke 11/3/23 Jessica Goyke 11/3/23

For when you're feeling triggered

Peace with the pieces,

You are as multi-faceted as a diamond.
You have an array of varying passions, skills, characteristics, and qualities that make you, you. There are certain aspects of yourself that are more accepted by others, and serve us both personally and professionally, and there are other aspects that we subconsciously hide from the world around us.

These parts of ourself get repressed; the anger or frustration that we don't want to show around our kids, the grief that's inappropriate during the work day, the need to move at a different pace that we do not want to be perceived as laziness.

It's usually when these bottle up, or get pointed out by someone else that we can get triggered and feel like a mess.

The thing is that we all have these aspects, and when we get triggered we can choose to stuff them back down and act out of fear of being judged or dis-liked, or we can frame this as an opportunity to integrate these parts of ourself. The latter allows us to move into more wholeness, to feel all that it is to be human, to love and accept, and ultimately make peace with the pieces of ourselves.

A few simple practices to make peace with the parts of yourself that you may feel separate from:

Signal safety within your nervous system. Dis-covering repressed parts of ourselves can lead to feeling triggered, fear of judgement, and unsafe. You can signal safety by breathing in a square breath pattern, by feeling the steady force of gravity beneath you, or by shaking your whole body (much like an animal would shake off after stress).

Extend loving words to yourself. The Ho'oponopono prayer is a powerful practice that I revisit often. Reciting these words and feeling them land in your heart, "Thank you. I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you."

Reflect on & support your younger self. The foundation of our patterns is set in the first 7 years of our lives. Close your eyes and connect with a version of you that is 7 or younger and is feeling similar to how you are feeling, and ask yourself: "what did they need to hear to feel safe?" "what was this version of me longing for from a parent, supportive figure, or friend?" With your eyes closed, let the adult you give this to that version of you. Let them feel safe, held, seen, and watch what unfolds.

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In gratitude & good health,
Dr. Jessica

Jessica Goyke 10/30/23 Jessica Goyke 10/30/23

A conscious reset,

We just returned from a relaxing weekend in the perfect fall destination.

There is something to be said about intentional time set aside, spent outside of your everyday environment, with supportive, loving community, cultivating relaxation.

I am a person that loves their alone time, and yet I've found that one of the quickest ways to get into a heightened emotional state is to really hone in on the aspect of supportive community. We are not in this alone, and we do not have to do this alone, even if we are used to it! Appreciating the company of another, and being in the elevated field of another expands our own capacity (to be kind to ourselves, to breath deeper, to set aside our worries).

That's one of the reasons I started offering Creating Coherence as a monthly gathering. I felt the need for a simple and accessible 'retreat' from our everyday lives, and the presence from us getting together left me inspired for days.

I am inviting you to our last monthly gathering of the year this Thursday, details below. In the new year I plan to introduce a new series (both virtual and in-person) that will support us even deeper on our paths to optimal living.

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In gratitude & good health,
Dr. Jessica

Jessica Goyke 10/24/23 Jessica Goyke 10/24/23

Welcoming a p a u s e,

Most people I meet have this desire to move towards a more optimal life. This can look vastly different from having an abundance of time, to the quality of their relationships, to an area of their physical health, and beyond.

Many of those people haven't made the connection that what's contributing to where they are currently is an accumulation of past thoughts, feelings, actions, and beliefs.

It's those past thoughts, feelings, actions and beliefs that get recycled day in and day out to generate your current reality physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Essentially who you were yesterday, and who you were 4 years ago strongly shapes who you are today. From the moment you wake up, you press play on the same spot you left off at yesterday by picking up your phone, by walking the exact same way to your coffee machine, and by checking your email.

The momentum created to keep those past experiences alive and present for you is the often the same momentum that is keeping us aligned with a less than optimal path.

Inviting in a pause is the way to slow that momentum, to create change in your thinking, feeling, believing, and acting.

So, what if instead of rushing around from the moment you wake up, you take a pause from your phone and to do list for half an hour? Perhaps you take three deep breaths expressing something you're grateful for? In these simple acts, you're beginning to change the cycle of momentum and create a new trajectory for your life.

Let's say you've been on your healing path for a while and have a full regimen of morning routines, but it feels daunting and uninspiring. What if you take pause to simply go outside place your feet on the ground and say thank you for a new day? This pause creates a change in the cycle of momentum.

Day by day, moment by moment we can change the cycle of who we have been, and recalibrate in a direction of who we want to become, more relaxed, more kind, more present, more vibrant, and so much more.

So think about who you'd really like to be in 2024, and invite a pause into any areas of your life that are not aligned with this version of you.
I see you, and celebrate you for all that you are and all that you are becoming.

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In gratitude & good health,
Dr. Jessica

Jessica Goyke 10/20/23 Jessica Goyke 10/20/23

Taking inventory on your bandwidth,

In gratitude & good health,
Dr. Jessica

Jessica Goyke 10/12/23 Jessica Goyke 10/12/23

How to know if depression is a RESET

I mentioned this on social media a couple weeks ago and it deserves a spot in my newsletter as well.

Listen with me for a moment, depression gets a lot of bad wrap.
Now, I am not trying to downplay any one's experience, but the vitalist within me sees this differently than most folks. A vitalist sees that every symptoms or sickness has a greater purpose, a greater design to bring about healing and balance to the body.

So, if you are anything like me, and have trended towards feeling anxious or hyper-reactive in other portions of your life, an episode or sense of depression could actually be a sign of your body trying to find a deeper sense of balance and homeostasis.

In metaphors, we can look at the feelings of depression as a Deep Rest from who you've been. Or a Deep Reset, from the person who has been anxious, negative self talk, always trying to do more to earn their worth, speeding around in survival mode, reacting to every stressor.

I personally experienced this Deep Rest after having my son, and because of the lens of vitalism I could deeply trust myself and my body to find greater balance on the other side. I wasn't afraid to move slow and to rest. It wasn't easy, but I had my rhythms like movement, nourishment, and support circle in place to help me through it.

If this resonate, or you could use support moving through your own deep rest. You are not alone. Please reach out, I would love to support or point you in the direction of some helpful resources.

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With love and gratitude,
Dr.Jessica

Jessica Goyke 10/3/23 Jessica Goyke 10/3/23

How to navigate a downward spiral!

The downward spiral,

Feeling low? Beating yourself up more than you ought to be because you're feeling this way?
I get it. It can be scary to let yourself feel this way, but I assure you it is part of the process of change and evolution.

I've been there too, and I have learned to lean on what I call
life principles; phenomenons that are true in nature, and undeniably true in the face of emotional distress, or things going differently than I had planned. These allow us to see the bigger picture and to support ourselves back into balance.

Here's one to help you through the downward spiral. Down to a cellular level we are constantly contracting and expanding, think of a heart cell helping the entire structure of the heart organ to pump blood by squeezing and releasing tension. All day long, it is doing this mechanism which maintains life. There is no label of good, bad, right, or wrong, about which part of the contraction or expansion it is in, it just simply is, and so are you.
It is literally impossible for our biology to constantly create feel good hormones, hence we naturally cycle through what we perceive as highs and lows, and the less we attach to them being good, bad, right, or wrong the easier I have found for it to be to just simply move onto the next one.

If you've taken Lighten Your Load, you know I go into many of these natural principles that support understanding our greater growth and evolution.

Now, sometimes hearing them can feel like an aha moment, or a resounding truth, and other times they can be hard to accept because of the layers of past built up in our perception system, our nervous system.

If you are feeling the latter, there is nothing wrong, notice that sensation and the stories that are coming up for you. I always like to encourage writing about how you feel, that alone can begin the process of relaxing built up emotion and allowing you to move a little closer to balance.

Every piece of discomfort is an opportunity for transformation. Practice getting uncomfortable in little ways in your life, walking a different way, trying a new exercise, etc. When you do this, finding that feeling of neutrality or acceptance for the ebbs, flows, ups, downs will feel easier and easier.

Onward you go!
Cheering you on in every way. <3
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With love and gratitude,
Dr. Jessica

Jessica Goyke 9/28/23 Jessica Goyke 9/28/23

Is your story hurting or helping?

I missed writing to you last week. I've been a little preoccupied with the best "job" in the world, parenting ;) I could tell you stories about my energy levels, and my limited resources for self care this past week but I'm super conscious of the words that I choose to use, and the story that I tell with them.

Why?
Our words and stories are strongly tied to emotions, and our emotions are strongly tied to past experiences. Past experiences are stored in our nervous system, and our nervous system is like a detection system, whatever it is set to focus on expands. When we retell the same story over and over we're essentially recreating it in our body and in our world.

So, think about what you want to be experiencing in your life; do you want to keep playing the story of being tired, not having enough time, spinning your wheels, having aches and pains, or lacking motivation?

My guess is that you do not. The great thing about knowing the power of your words and stories is that you can also use this to your advantage. You can tell yourself new stories that evoke new feelings and sensations in your body, that help you step out of the past and into a new future.

Try this, next time you wake up in the morning: tell yourself how you would like your day to go, how you would like to show up, and how you would like to feel when your day is done. Next time you come in for a session, take a moment to pause, set an intention for anything you'd like to process and integrate on the table, and how you'd like to feel on the other side.

Catch yourself when you're repeating your old stories, it will happen, and that's ok. I am a work in progress, give yourself permission to be too. Learning to soften and be kind to yourself is part of this!

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With love and gratitude,
Dr. Jessica

Jessica Goyke 9/25/23 Jessica Goyke 9/25/23

Avoiding Pain or Chasing Pleasure will keep you Unhappy 💜

From a young age we learn the "ways of the world" from our parents and adults around us. These are like the non-verbal "rules" or "guidelines" on what is acceptable or not as a human, like what kind of play is acceptable to do at home but maybe not in a public library... etc.

We will all differ based on personality traits, sensitivity levels, and what drives us, but at the end of the day - we are pack animals. We are born to want to be a part of the pack - and hence these non-verbal "rules" stick with us and shape us as adults today because they keep us from be outcasted from "our pack"
They become learned patterns below the level of our awareness, also known as subconscious.

As children we observe and learn, most of us have in very subtle ways learned to avoid pain and to seek pleasure.
For example, your parent may have been overly protective about you getting hurt, to a point where you were afraid to take safe risks, and this translates to you avoiding getting out of your comfort zone as an adults. Now you're feeling stagnant and stuck, and don't know why.
Another example, you were taught to solely seek pleasure and always be happy. So in your everyday life unless there is a party you feel really under-stimulated and dissatisfied, you constantly need to create the party or you don't feel happy. You also might have taken on an exhausting role of always trying to make others happy.

The solution to both avoiding pain and pleasure seeking is to transcend this dualistic way of thinking and to find your POWER.

For as long as we try to avoid pain, and solely seek pleasure we will oscillate between the two. We'll all experience highs and lows in life, but they will feel extreme if we are living this way subconsciously. If we can accept the uncomfortable moments in life, and even train ourselves to find comfort within the discomfort, and if we can enjoy the highs equally as much as every other shade of life, we will have met our power.

Our power is almost like finding neutrality amongst these two opposites, pain and pleasure. If you've been in this loop, you've most likely been numbing out other feelings too. It may feel like a sigh of relief to hear this or like there are a lot of other feelings below the surface. Pause, breathe, it's perfectly okay. You'll know you're on your way to a powerful place when you are not afraid of, resisting, or grasping at the highs or the lows, instead you allow yourself to move through them and the lessons that each has for you.

Practice getting comfortable with something uncomfortable today, or finding neutrality in a high or low moment of your day. You've got this! :)

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With love and gratitude,
Dr.Jessica