For when you're feeling triggered

Peace with the pieces,

You are as multi-faceted as a diamond. 
You have an array of varying passions, skills, characteristics, and qualities that make you, you. There are certain aspects of yourself that are more accepted by others, and serve us both personally and professionally, and there are other aspects that we subconsciously hide from the world around us. 

These parts of ourself get repressed; the anger or frustration that we don't want to show around our kids, the grief that's inappropriate during the work day, the need to move at a different pace that we do not want to be perceived as laziness.

It's usually when these bottle up, or get pointed out by someone else that we can get triggered and feel like a mess.

The thing is that we all have these aspects, and when we get triggered we can choose to stuff them back down and act out of fear of being judged or dis-liked, or we can frame this as an opportunity to integrate these parts of ourself. The latter allows us to move into more wholeness, to feel all that it is to be human, to love and accept, and ultimately make peace with the pieces of ourselves. 

A few simple practices to make peace with the parts of yourself that you may feel separate from:

Signal safety within your nervous system. Dis-covering repressed parts of ourselves can lead to feeling triggered, fear of judgement, and unsafe. You can signal safety by breathing in a square breath pattern, by feeling the steady force of gravity beneath you, or by shaking your whole body (much like an animal would shake off after stress).

Extend loving words to yourself. The Ho'oponopono prayer is a powerful practice that I revisit often. Reciting these words and feeling them land in your heart, "Thank you. I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you."

Reflect on & support your younger self. The foundation of our patterns is set in the first 7 years of our lives. Close your eyes and connect with a version of you that is 7 or younger and is feeling similar to how you are feeling, and ask yourself: "what did they need to hear to feel safe?" "what was this version of me longing for from a parent, supportive figure, or friend?" With your eyes closed, let the adult you give this to that version of you. Let them feel safe, held, seen, and watch what unfolds.  

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In gratitude & good health, 
 Dr. Jessica