Avoiding Pain or Chasing Pleasure will keep you Unhappy 💜

The Pain-Pleasure Loop,

From a young age we learn the "ways of the world" from our parents and adults around us.  These are like the non-verbal "rules" or "guidelines" on what is acceptable or not as a human, like what kind of play is acceptable to do at home but maybe not in a public library... etc.  

We will all differ based on personality traits, sensitivity levels, and what drives us, but at the end of the day - we are pack animals. We are born to want to be a part of the pack - and hence these non-verbal "rules" stick with us and shape us as adults today because they keep us from be outcasted from "our pack"
They become learned patterns below the level of our awareness, also known as subconscious.

As children we observe and learn, most of us have in very subtle ways learned to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. 
For example, your parent may have been overly protective about you getting hurt, to a point where you were afraid to take safe risks, and this translates to you avoiding getting out of your comfort zone as an adults. Now you're feeling stagnant and stuck, and don't know why.
Another example, you were taught to solely seek pleasure and always be happy. So in your everyday life unless there is a party you feel really under-stimulated and dissatisfied, you constantly need to create the party or you don't feel happy. You also might have taken on an exhausting role of always trying to make others happy.

The solution to both avoiding pain and pleasure seeking is to transcend this dualistic way of thinking and to find your POWER.

For as long as we try to avoid pain, and solely seek pleasure we will oscillate between the two. We'll all experience highs and lows in life, but they will feel extreme if we are living this way subconsciously. If we can accept the uncomfortable moments in life, and even train ourselves to find comfort within the discomfort, and if we can enjoy the highs equally as much as every other shade of life, we will have met our power. 

Our power is almost like finding neutrality amongst these two opposites, pain and pleasure. If you've been in this loop, you've most likely been numbing out other feelings too. It may feel like a sigh of relief to hear this or like there are a lot of other feelings below the surface. Pause, breathe, it's perfectly okay. You'll know you're on your way to a powerful place when you are not afraid of, resisting, or grasping at the highs or the lows, instead you allow yourself to move through them and the lessons that each has for you. 

Practice getting comfortable with something uncomfortable today, or finding neutrality in a high or low moment of your day. You've got this! :)

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With love and gratitude, 
 Dr. Jessica